Femsogwod is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-confident faun.

Femsogwod created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femsogwod, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Femsogwod, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Femsogwod's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Femsogwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide if five birds approach from the west.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Never think about cell theory.