Rapwotpib is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, happy gerbil.

Rapwotpib created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapwotpib, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rapwotpib, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Rapwotpib's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Rapwotpib's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Rapwotpib three times a day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Do not hurt geese.