Cabweebast is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, compassionate crane.

Cabweebast created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabweebast, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cabweebast, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Cabweebast's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Cabweebast's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cabweebast's priests.

2. Erect five silver sculptures of Cabweebast on top of important buildings.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.