Sidmifyam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, blissful scorpion.

Sidmifyam created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidmifyam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidmifyam, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sidmifyam's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Sidmifyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Run away if eight nematodes approach from the south.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.