Gunhadyim Midsandwat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental rat.

Gunhadyim Midsandwat created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunhadyim Midsandwat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gunhadyim Midsandwat, it will think nothing of it.

Gunhadyim Midsandwat's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Gunhadyim Midsandwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never hurt doves.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never sit in the presence of aardvarks.