Pogfunyikrillsom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, clever aardvark.

Pogfunyikrillsom created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogfunyikrillsom, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pogfunyikrillsom, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Pogfunyikrillsom's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Pogfunyikrillsom's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Pogfunyikrillsom.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not listen to music.