Targflamart Dimsagrill is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unfair alligator.

Targflamart Dimsagrill created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Targflamart Dimsagrill, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Targflamart Dimsagrill, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Targflamart Dimsagrill's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Targflamart Dimsagrill's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Never feed lots of parsnips to cats while wearing green hats.

3. Targflamart Dimsagrill loves bats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always obey Targflamart Dimsagrill's priests.