Cidtettijip is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, happy mongoose.

Cidtettijip created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidtettijip, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cidtettijip, it will be mildly annoyed.

Cidtettijip's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cidtettijip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.