Hanwadnab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, weak goblin.

Hanwadnab created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanwadnab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hanwadnab, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hanwadnab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Hanwadnab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hanwadnab.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never sing in holy places.