Dogfossjondidtonk is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced naga.

Dogfossjondidtonk created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogfossjondidtonk, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dogfossjondidtonk, she will ignore you.

Dogfossjondidtonk's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dogfossjondidtonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dogfossjondidtonk.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Do not eat garlic.