Parkmigwit is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, uncaring dolphin.

Parkmigwit created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkmigwit, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Parkmigwit, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Parkmigwit's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Parkmigwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near snails.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never feed apples to foxes while wearing turquoise skirts.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always look after injured turtles.