Manbemven is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awesome wolf.

Manbemven created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Manbemven, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Manbemven, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Manbemven's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Manbemven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.