Mumjonwan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring toad.

Mumjonwan created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Mumjonwan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumjonwan, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Mumjonwan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Mumjonwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never feed oranges to badgers while wearing dresses.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help sick sheep.

5. Always wear green.