Dossbonhig Futbedtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced ferret.

Dossbonhig Futbedtonk created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossbonhig Futbedtonk, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dossbonhig Futbedtonk, he will throw large rocks at you.

Dossbonhig Futbedtonk's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dossbonhig Futbedtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to dolphins while wearing hats.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dossbonhig Futbedtonk.

4. Never talk about spacetime near frogs while wearing turquoise boots.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.