Vilripdibjampangtarzed is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, charitable hamster.

Vilripdibjampangtarzed created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilripdibjampangtarzed, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vilripdibjampangtarzed, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vilripdibjampangtarzed's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Vilripdibjampangtarzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vilripdibjampangtarzed.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Vilripdibjampangtarzed loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not listen to music.