Venbarntamnaklog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, annoying grasshopper.

Venbarntamnaklog created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Venbarntamnaklog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Venbarntamnaklog, she will turn you into a mouse.

Venbarntamnaklog's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Venbarntamnaklog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry voles.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed nuts to rats while wearing pink stockings.

5. Never eat green fruit.