Kapcusshon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, deceitful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kapcusshon created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapcusshon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kapcusshon, she will be mildly annoyed.

Kapcusshon's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kapcusshon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never sing in the presence of shrews.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Kapcusshon.