Largkophad Cunkadgun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, sage meerkat.

Largkophad Cunkadgun created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Largkophad Cunkadgun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Largkophad Cunkadgun, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Largkophad Cunkadgun's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Largkophad Cunkadgun's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry birds.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Never wear orange stockings.

4. Never feed carrots to snails while wearing jumpers.

5. Do not stand on grass.