Jinlarnbadjinkim Fabcet is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, resourceful rhinoceros.

Jinlarnbadjinkim Fabcet created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinlarnbadjinkim Fabcet, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jinlarnbadjinkim Fabcet, he will turn you into a puffin.

Jinlarnbadjinkim Fabcet's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Jinlarnbadjinkim Fabcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never paint your legs cyan.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.