Dunyartingfontarpbetyok is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, charitable monkey.

Dunyartingfontarpbetyok created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dunyartingfontarpbetyok, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dunyartingfontarpbetyok, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Dunyartingfontarpbetyok's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Dunyartingfontarpbetyok's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Run away if five frogs approach from the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.