Dusshonjab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody tapir.

Dusshonjab created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dusshonjab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dusshonjab, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dusshonjab's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Dusshonjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not commit murder.