Honcabben is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, fussy bird.

Honcabben created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honcabben, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Honcabben, she will torture you forever.

Honcabben's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Honcabben's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to frogs while wearing green scarves.

2. Hide from blue horses for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.