Bissflan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, awe-inspiring hippopotamus.

Bissflan created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Bissflan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bissflan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bissflan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bissflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Put Bissflan first in all things.