Jigkopquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless dingo.

Jigkopquaf created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigkopquaf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jigkopquaf, he will curse you with boils.

Jigkopquaf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jigkopquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured grasshopers.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.