Bapfodfet is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate salamander.

Bapfodfet created the Sunflower Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapfodfet, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bapfodfet, he will curse you with boils.

Bapfodfet's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bapfodfet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow ducks for they are unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Mites are not to be trusted.

5. Do not dye your hair green.