Zagfatlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, intelligent turtle.

Zagfatlarg created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Zagfatlarg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zagfatlarg, it will jump up and down on your head.

Zagfatlarg's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Zagfatlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Retreat if three seals approach from the west.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always treat badgers with great respect.