Bognellcuss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest walrus.

Bognellcuss created the Whirlpool Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bognellcuss, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bognellcuss, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bognellcuss' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bognellcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bognellcuss on top of all buildings.

2. Erect three platinum sculptures of Bognellcuss on top of important buildings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never talk about capybaras.