Gubbogcim is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane dolphin.

Gubbogcim created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Gubbogcim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gubbogcim, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gubbogcim's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gubbogcim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn sharks for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near ants while wearing magenta scarves and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.