Farnjadrat Vonmottetti is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, slow meerkat.

Farnjadrat Vonmottetti created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnjadrat Vonmottetti, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Farnjadrat Vonmottetti, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Farnjadrat Vonmottetti's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Farnjadrat Vonmottetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never feed cherries to ducks while wearing yellow rings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Never think about galaxies.