Bugdissxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, selfish dove.

Bugdissxuck created a photon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bugdissxuck, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bugdissxuck, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bugdissxuck's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Bugdissxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Run away if eight great tits approach from the west.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Bugdissxuck loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near squirrels while wearing black trousers and balancing six aluminium spheres on your hands.