Ranxuckwabwigvidbafbest is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain gerbil.

Ranxuckwabwigvidbafbest created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranxuckwabwigvidbafbest, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ranxuckwabwigvidbafbest, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ranxuckwabwigvidbafbest's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Ranxuckwabwigvidbafbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Hide from indigo sharks for they are unholy.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.