Fudlapfed Govquaghun is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, merciful bear.

Fudlapfed Govquaghun created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudlapfed Govquaghun, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fudlapfed Govquaghun, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fudlapfed Govquaghun's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fudlapfed Govquaghun's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fudlapfed Govquaghun.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.