Parkxucflabbud is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, intelligent swan.

Parkxucflabbud created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkxucflabbud, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Parkxucflabbud, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Parkxucflabbud's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Parkxucflabbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.