Quillgadmad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciful pig.

Quillgadmad created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillgadmad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quillgadmad, she will turn you into a snail.

Quillgadmad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Quillgadmad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six birds approach from the south.

2. Never think about optics near grasshopers while wearing violet shirts and balancing four lead spheres on your back.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.