Tapcutstik is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented ferret.

Tapcutstik created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcutstik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tapcutstik, it will not care.

Tapcutstik's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tapcutstik's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never paint your hands blue.

3. Never talk about horses.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away if eight hamsters approach from the west.