Tipqueegtof is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, weak fairy.

Tipqueegtof created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipqueegtof, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tipqueegtof, it will turn you into a worm.

Tipqueegtof's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Tipqueegtof's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snails.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never pour water over plants.