Bemcin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, calm newt.

Bemcin created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bemcin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bemcin, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bemcin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bemcin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured hamsters.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not cook food in pots.