Tingup is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, amazing walrus.

Tingup created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tingup, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tingup, she will not invite you to parties.

Tingup's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tingup's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near monkeys while wearing indigo tights and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near hamsters while wearing black coats and balancing seven iron spheres on your face.

3. Retreat if six sheep approach from the west.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.