Dankomtip Gumjingatgun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured jaguar.

Dankomtip Gumjingatgun created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Dankomtip Gumjingatgun, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dankomtip Gumjingatgun, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dankomtip Gumjingatgun's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Dankomtip Gumjingatgun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.