Nurljambast is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, smart toad.

Nurljambast created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurljambast, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurljambast, it will turn you into a slug.

Nurljambast's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nurljambast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near horses while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing seven copper spheres on your neck.