Bamkamxin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering lizard.

Bamkamxin created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamkamxin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bamkamxin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bamkamxin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bamkamxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white trousers.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. You must love Bamkamxin.

4. Hide if three mice approach from the east.

5. Never write about galaxies.