Lapsadzod is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, passionate swan.

Lapsadzod created the Sombrero Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapsadzod, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lapsadzod, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lapsadzod's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lapsadzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never wear turquoise shoes.

3. Do not keep four snakes in a large pit.

4. Do not kill shrews.

5. Never paint your back blue.