Loggeddotingmetcardib Yarlyartlad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, contented mink.

Loggeddotingmetcardib Yarlyartlad created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Loggeddotingmetcardib Yarlyartlad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Loggeddotingmetcardib Yarlyartlad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Loggeddotingmetcardib Yarlyartlad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Loggeddotingmetcardib Yarlyartlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.