Sakwitjap Arngomcun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous clam.

Sakwitjap Arngomcun created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakwitjap Arngomcun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sakwitjap Arngomcun, he will make you grow a tail.

Sakwitjap Arngomcun's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sakwitjap Arngomcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never wear yellow dresses.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.