Boghanxuclik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, generous narwhal.

Boghanxuclik created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Boghanxuclik, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Boghanxuclik, she will throw large rocks at you.

Boghanxuclik's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Boghanxuclik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Put Boghanxuclik first in all things.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must pray to Boghanxuclik eight times a day.