Midweefid is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered hydra.

Midweefid created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midweefid, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Midweefid, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Midweefid's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Midweefid's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.