Komwanflab Farfitjop is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, passionate narwhal.

Komwanflab Farfitjop created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komwanflab Farfitjop, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Komwanflab Farfitjop, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Komwanflab Farfitjop's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Komwanflab Farfitjop's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always help swans.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.