Hunkanmon is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, witless butterfly.

Hunkanmon created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hunkanmon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hunkanmon, she will turn you into a duck.

Hunkanmon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hunkanmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tortoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never feed lots of grapes to seals while wearing cyan ear rings.

4. Hunkanmon loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. Pray towards the east.