Pakbenyim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, duplicitous capybara.

Pakbenyim created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakbenyim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pakbenyim, she will not care.

Pakbenyim's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Pakbenyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn coats.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Pakbenyim loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about black holes.