Karfiddod is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish jellyfish.

Karfiddod created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karfiddod, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Karfiddod, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Karfiddod's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Karfiddod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Karfiddod on top of important buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.